Overcoming Loneliness

• Get rid of you negative emotions. Banish you negative thoughts that might lead to self-pity. Low self-esteem is your great enemy, learn to develop a healthy self-esteem, it’s your self-confidence and it’s a key towards happiness and success. Always present a positive self-image.
• Discover smile power. Learn to greet the people around you with best smile. Filipinos are good to it. No matter how unhappy you are, you must tell your new place that you are extremely happy and contended and your facial expressions prove it. Your smile is a magnet that attracts people. It will not be too hard for you to have friends.
• God as the center of all. Being alone is a good opportunity for meditation and self-reflection. Pray for your work asks help and guidance that you could see life in the right perspective and you could be able to manage your priorities. You can go mass and do confession.
• Fight it. You can overcome loneliness by taking action and you can take action on a number of levels. It’s not an easy task but you should remember, “Loneliness is just a State of Mind and not a Life sentence.” Just avoid the “Poor Me” Syndrome. The fact that you made it, the struggles you endure to get hired are best facts that you are strong.

Think of your family, your situation here in Philippines, know the things you can do for your family to have a better life. Be practical and wise enough. You make transitions for the better and not for the worst. The best thing you can do is to plan your future. Keeping a journal is a helpful tip.

Avoid putting yourself in the middle of crisis; if you want to work abroad you have to examine first yourself. It’s your WILL, if you get yourself by force, for example if you’re parents want to but against your will you will really end up nothing. Loneliness might kill you! It’s a matter of choice and right decision.

As per 2007 record, there are 23 cases of unsolved murders against Filipinos abroad since 2002. Mostly involved domestic workers who often toil in isolated and very vulnerable conditions. Filipinos demand for justice for them but sad to say most of the cases remain in memory.

What happened to the case of the late Pinay caregiver under LCP Jocelyn Dulnuan? Whose body full of stubbed and died, a murder happened in Canada. Dulnuan, a 27-year-old from the Philippines with family in Hong Kong, had been in Canada for less than a year when she was slain Oct. 1 inside a massive $15-million gated mansion on Doulton Place. Jocelyn is one of the many Filipinos who dream to land a caregining career in Canada, however her dream ended into a bloody tragedy.

Many OFW Murder Cases remain unsolved, countrymen crave for justice specially the loved ones left behind. How will the administration solve the injustices suffered by overseas Filipino workers? This remain a question, taking into consideration some countries involved shows rush humanitarian gestures in solving the problem and give justice to the victims.

Aside from mysterious deaths among fellow Filipinos, media reports have identified some OFWs on death row who are awaiting final decision on their cases. Some of them are already given pardon or sentence reduced. This people in death row face big risk in their lives and have felt no assurance.

But despite the realities of unsolved murder cases, it is more becoming obvious that still many Filipinos aspire to work abroad. Many still wishes to become a dollar earner, for the purpose of giiving their families a healthier life. But sad to say that “death in exchange of money” is what they get. Some go back to Philippines with mental illness and some are sick.

The fact is that, not all Filipinos abroad have become so lucky. Leaving Philippines and work abroad not always mean a fortune to everbody. What is more painfull many of our victims suffered brutalities. It’s too painfull to see them dead. Many still seek for justice, their cries remain unheared.

Thinking, “Distance” alone bears the fact that it brings pain to couples. Everyone makes his or her own point of view regarding LDR. Most of them base their comments from their real experiences. Many enjoys posting their emptiness on the web both negative and positive views. I have read a lot of articles, blogs regarding LDR from there I found out that it is really hard. But for practical thinkers it isn’t. But both really felt the pain at first, the adjustment period of acceptance. Below are some best factors of keeping long distance relationship strong.

Couples should remain faithful. Steadfast in affection or allegiance, it has something to do with each other’s vows and commitment. How strong are you to fight the first signs of temptation? How will you divert your feeling of being alone? It’s never hard to remain faithful, you have to mark your promises as long as it has a strong foundation it will remain strong.

Both should not look for a human substitute while they are apart. If you value faithfulness then do not break this rule. For couples, sex is a need; it is a need just like food or rest. But unlike the two needs mentioned, sex can be substituted with something else. Couples who can no longer be intimate physically can still express their emotions through other media. The Internet and phone calls play a very important role in helping both parties keep the resolution of never doing the deed with someone else.

Respect for your partner’s time. Put in your mind that you have different time zones. Avoid being so demanding and making pressures to your partner. Schedule all calls and chats to avoid conflicts. Determine what time is best for calls and chats. But be sure he or she gives time being busy is not always an excuse for not calling. It’s still good that both of you help out things.

Trust your partner. This can be considered as the most important key factor of making LDR alive. In order for your partner to trust you, you need to be completely honest. All the time tell the truth. Never lie. White lies can be accepted however be sure to take the risk. No matter what, you need to tell your partner everything. Don’t leave bits out, and don’t try to hide things.

For our OFW’S, surviving a long distance relationship is hard but if couples value each other worth then they will remain strong. Sometimes we need to disregard our emotions in order to survive and give a better life to our family. It’s never wrong to dream for a bright future. Even thousand of miles away, if there’s GTF “God” “Trust” “Faith” then everything runs smoothly.

A husband leaving his wife and children is having one foot in the Philippines and one foot abroad. Just think how hard it is. Can you ever imagine how does it feel the moment the husband step in the plane? Oh! It’s a tearing moment. Even though it is carefully planned, can’t deny the fact that is really worth crying for. Three to six years contract can’t imagine what might happen throughout the years.

Good thing we are now enjoying the fruits of great minds that studied and saw the need. Technology serves as the bridge to keep in touch. Going back to history where Internet is not yet a trend, its just pen and paper, and telephone. But when Internet started, its just having your loved ones abroad close to you. Internet chat and emails become so important for communication purposes.

Communication is very important, for example, the instance you left the age of your first baby is 2 months, you are still unknown to your baby not even memorize your name and could not call you daddy. No one wants that, that’s why there is a need to communicate every now and then. You can even teach your child even if you are far. You can still make follow up proper monitoring, as he grows older. You then still become part of disciplining your child; these are just few benefits that Internet has to offer for OFW’S.

Although it’s too different having them in personal but then at least it ease the feeling of emptiness. Personal care is too different but because you wanted good earning for your family you need to adapt and accept. It’s called sacrifice. Sacrifice for both parties, for the intention to grow and to have a quality life. To give better education and supply the daily needs of the family. It’s the amount of sacrifice you are willing to give in, plus TRUST and PATIENCE. Just learn the basic of Internet chat and email, its one way of bridging the gap. It keeps ties closer.